Why Networking is Painful

🔌 Many fascinating, smart, engaging, and successful people say they "should be networking more." Layoffs and a tight job market intensify this anxiety. Why?

Well, “Networking” is an awful, unappealing term (ethernet cables and router configuration?) and - as it’s usually understood - an even less appealing activity.

The prospect of engagement at scale with strangers triggers a fear of rejection even for accomplished high-performers. Cold outreach, especially when nakedly self-serving, is far out of the comfort zone for most of us. Trying it feels unnatural and exposed.

Or, we are willing to connect authentically around shared experiences or interests - but who has time for that??

Here’s how the process makes sense for me:

1 - Networking is just building relationships - I know how to do that! And it’s fun!

2 - Start Small and Specific - Invest in your current connections rather than trying to meet a thousand new people. Then, gradually expand. A friend of friend is an easier start.

3- Offer Value - A point of view, an introduction, a book suggestion…whatever feels relevant in the conversation. It’s not transactional - it’s friendly!

4 - Make it a Habit - Decide how much time you can dedicate to these conversations and keep it up. Confidence and connections build as you go.

Networking *should be* about fostering meaningful relationships, not just exchanging business cards. Building the habit is also a pathway to bolstering your confidence and resilience. Bonus!

I'm finding that If your goals are positive and mutual and your expectations are reasonable, it’s possible to transform “networking” from a self-defeating chore into something fruitful and energy-giving.

Yes, it takes time to build momentum. So, today would be a good time to start 💪🏻

(Originally published on LinkedIn)